In my last post, I stated, “Our level of feeling offended has more to do with what we believe about ourselves than it does the actual offense.” This statement got some negative feedback so I would like to clarify this point. One response was that this perspective can relieve the offender of responsibility for the […]Continue Reading... 1 Comment.
Forgiveness is a process that includes several steps along the way. The first step is to Examine the Hurt. In previous blogs we have discussed what we forgive, what we don’t forgive and the different types of hurt. These are all part of the process of examining the hurt. We have to identify the […]Continue Reading... No Comments.
Forgiveness is a process that involves certain steps. As discussed in Forgiveness Process: An Analogy, (which you can read here to gain a better understanding of the analogy) unforgiveness is like riding around in a car with Unforgiveness at the wheel. When we make that decision to get out of the car that Unforgiveness is […]Continue Reading... 4 Comments.
When we are hurt, we have the urge to hurt back, or to at least withdraw, out of self-protection. Sometimes the hurt that we experience is something we just have to accept as a part of life. (See the post on Things You Don’t Have to Forgive.) Often the quickest way to heal the hurt […]Continue Reading... 2 Comments.
We don’t need to forgive every time we feel offended. This statement may shock some people and relieve others. I am not saying that any offense is too great to forgive. What I am saying, however, is that sometimes our experience of feeling hurt is really more about our perception. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s […]Continue Reading... 3 Comments.
Whoever said “Good fences make good neighbors” knew something about boundaries and forgiveness. I put a fence around my backyard to keep my children and my dog where they are supposed to be. It keeps my children’s toys and actions from offending my neighbors and keeps my dog from attacking my neighbors with excited kisses […]Continue Reading... 1 Comment.
When I teach on forgiveness many people ask me this question: If I forgive do I have to restore the relationship? My answer: It depends. Part of forgiveness is being willing to restore the relationship. However, forgiveness does not equal restoration. Forgiveness plus repentance equals restoration. If the offender repents but there is no forgiveness […]Continue Reading... 2 Comments.
“People tell me that if I haven’t forgotten then I haven’t forgiven.” This barometer of forgiveness has brought an abundance of guilt upon those who have already experienced the pain of broken trust. As they try to piece themselves back together again, well-meaning people heap shame on the victim for not being able to forget. […]Continue Reading... 3 Comments.
While playing the board game Sorry! with my son, I realized that we do not always mean we are sorry when we say it. In the board game, we recognize that “Sorry” from our opponent is really a polite way to rejoice in an advantageous move. However, when the offense is more personal and especially […]Continue Reading... 3 Comments.
“Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.” This is the maxim for those who choose not to forgive. However, there are many benefits of forgiveness that far outweigh the risks of being duped or looking like a fool. These benefits all have to do with our health; physically, emotionally, mentally, […]Continue Reading... 3 Comments.